You can't believe this is happening

It happens in a movie. It happens to some poor family in the newspaper or the friend of a friend. Never in 10 million years do you think this is going to happen to your own child. The doctor pulled us out of the room with serious lines etched in her face. She looked me straight in the eye, "It is cancer." The words rushed out of her mouth at the same time she bruskly grabbed my upper arm. It was a gesture of strength on her part as if by grabbing me she was giving me a shot of epinephrine during an allergic reaction. It is a moment I will never forget, played over in my mind every time I look at the remainder of hair-peach fuzz really, left on my nine year old's soft little head. The social worker followed with a private meeting in the pediatric floor play room. "How are you feeling at this moment?" Well, I'll let you know when I wake up because I am having a really bad dream right now. So far I haven't awoken. Mommy, why are you drinking that beer? Cause I don't have anything stronger and the nurse wouldn't give me any of your medicine...